


Coffee Mates and Tea Parties

by Chunchunnie



Category: Gintama
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, F/M, boys being pitiful, girls having fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:08:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27005590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chunchunnie/pseuds/Chunchunnie
Summary: In which they frequent these shops and cafes for a reason or two.
Relationships: Kagura/Okita Sougo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	Coffee Mates and Tea Parties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s always that one person judging the people by the kind of coffee they ordered.

  
Kagura snickered at her phone’s screen.

Her friend, Soyo Tokugawa, sent a picture of Kamui with an empty box of donuts on his head. His long braided hair is sprinkled with crumbs, chocolate chips, and icing. Shinpachi Shimura was cowering behind the government car at the back. Hilarious. It is a rare occurrence but the finest yet to behold since his last visit in the country.

“Is this seat taken?”

Kagura waved a hand, not taking her eyes off the message she’s typing in.

Finally seated after standing in the endless queue at the counter and finding no such luck in an empty, decent seat, much less his preferred corner booth, Sougo Okita sucked a breath and asked the giggling glutton, “Are ya gonna take long?”

His words went in and slid out of Kagura’s ears as she spelled “garbage” in her message. Not long after she hit the send button, a ping notified her phone of a new message from their bald father, Kankou. It’s time to formulate a new dramatic script to throw him off. She took a sip on her espresso with an overflowing crema before replying her Oscar-worthy story to Umibouzu.

Sougo sighed at the lack of response and awareness of this girl with her abundant snacks and drinks taking up three-fourths of the table. He eyed their target, ahead of the street they’re at and a few kilometers away to force their way in. The ramen shop, Hokuto Shinken, is suspected of a few irregularities that might tarnish its humble but respectable reputation. It would be a shame if they really did keep a lost, rebellious cat against the government. But the cherry on top is the suspect’s description. It fits the notorious terrorist, K-

“GYAHAHAHAHA! LET’S SEE IF YOU CAN STILL LAUGH AT THIS, KAMUIDIOT!”

He kept his face clear of any emotion and focused on the stakeout. He considered changing seats but decided against it. This is the only spot they can freely view the ramen shop with him barely seen outside the tinted window. However, the gazes that were pulled in from that brat’s maniacal laughter tells him he might as well be naked by the attention they have. 

Throwing the option of walking away from this perfect spot, there’s always that one, resolute, and effective option he can use when somebody’s in his way: beat them into submission.

With a string of insults and a pattern he follows to make these simpletons obey his iron words, he opens his mouth- only to gape at her. The brat stuffed her mouth full, sticking a pinky on her nostril, and scrunches her expressive face when her phone vibrated next to her. She gave out an unladylike snort before displaying her teeth wide as she cleans them with a toothpick. Ah, fina-fucking-lly, someone out of the norm he could experiment with.

 _Later_.

It seems he would have to put up with her show as he observes the other shop.

Blue eyes fluttered close when the light above them was reflected on the other boy’s shiny hair under the hat. The emo angled his face in a way that only she can see his emotionless, resting face and it disarms her how the light plays tricks on her. He definitely looks cold, but her instincts, especially her foreign, old blood, tells her the contrary. Kagura loudly burped then patted her round belly. Ah, that was a worthy amount of her sweet tooth employer’s overdue paycheck.

Subtle but certain it’s there, Kagura searches for the source of the vibration. She saw the emo guy take his phone. He sighs in between sarcasm and annoyance, drawling out “You’re here already, Hijibastard? Tell Zaki to stop stalking another person when he’s supposed to be in here. Good thing I’m good at this.”

She blinked before raising her brows at him. Kagura was about to ask for the bill when she heard the frustrated voice on the other line. “Acting like you’re an agent in MIB doesn’t make you good at it! Take that goddamn hat and suit off, Sougo!”

“It’s alright to have the shades, then?”

“Yes, yes, whatever, just- just be _normal_. Got it? Also, we can’t find a seat. We’re going elsewhere nearby.”

Ping!

Sougo followed the sound. He sees the brat snickering to herself again before scowling when she swipes a finger up on her phone.

**_Your brother is a cho-_ **

Familiar with the horrendous song, Sougo could only squint his eyes to her phone before she answers the call. He gets his mind back to his rotten superior. “D’ya want me to push this kid off her seat? There’ll be only one free though, so take Yamazaki here and scram, Hijibooger.”

“Hey, emo boy.”

Before Sougo hears Hijibugger’s endless retorts, the glutton before him spoke. He graced her with his attention. “What, bratty girl?”

After flipping her phone close, Kagura threw a crumpled paper beside his cold coffee and stood. “Next time I see you not drinking that, I’ll either claim it for myself or douse your douchebag persona with it depending on my mood. Coffee is a drink best enjoyed hot, yes?”

Putting his phone away, disregarding the fact that Hijiboor is stating the suspect’s current situation, Sougo shows her his signature smirk. “What if I told ya I like it _cold_?”

Don’t you assume the best or worst in me.

With a hint of stubbornness, Kagura stopped in her tracks and turns back to him with a smile as sadistic as his. “I didn’t say anything about caring for _you_ , yes?”

You’re just another presumptuous asshat.

The doors of the shop violently opened where a looming shadow appeared. Kagura wasn’t one to stifle her laughter, not when it’s her brother suffering in his misfortune. And so, when Kamui displayed his irritated smile of total destruction, Kagura guffawed. What else is there left to do when Kamuidiot still has bits of pickled seaweed on his lips twisted in disgust, with his decorated hair undone, and tears - actual freaking _tears_ \- come in beads on the sides of his eyes?

“I thought you were a crybaby, never a coward, dear sister.”

“I never was one, yes? You on the other hand- Pfft- GYAHAHAHAHA!”

“Oi. Ya take care of your sister properly. They billed me thrice the value of the check that idiot gave me.”

Sougo waved the crumpled paper she threw earlier. Kagura counted her fingers off, muttering in thousands as Kamui tilted his head towards the new species. 

Seconds ticked off, tension abruptly increased, and for a while, the customers thought they could have enough time to flee. Oh, how wrong they are.

Kagura, still counting and wriggling her fingers, turns her back from the chaos ensued by the two sadistic, psychopathic brats. Toshirou Hijikata swipes a hand over his face and orders “Yamazaki, do anything to prevent Sougo from worsening the situation. It’s your fault in the first place.”

“H-How do I do that, Vice Chief?”

“Put tabasco in some coffee and see if he likes it.”

The specially made tabasco coffee jelly, which consists of the typical coffee jelly drizzled with a generous amount of tabasco, went from Sagaru Yamazaki’s hand to Sougo, swinging his arm aimed at the mess of a brother of the bratty girl.

Kamui’s flick hair instantly straightened upon detecting another insufferable, distasteful snack. Still irked by the taste of pickled seaweed his crybaby of a sister recommended, he picked a random brewed dark coffee, boiling hot to touch, and flung it towards the new specimen.

Both of the items met at the center, clashing and deforming until the mixture fell down. Kagura looked up, already on her second hand in counting, when she has a bitter collision with the hot, smoking mixture, some going directly to her eyes and nostrils, but most went to down to her throat.

Kagura’s stomach churned, her heart started beating fast, and her energy spiked up. A minute later, she was causing ruckus, and while not exactly fighting those two, she managed to find a huge rubble and smack their heads down with it. The two tried to place a punch or a kick on her but the adrenaline rush made her unstoppable - a beastly form of sheer ridiculousness and power.

Hasegawa Taizou could only watch the shop he was recently working for to be crushed under some unknown force that was said to originate from a black hole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has nothing to do with the recently published Gintama trailer and visual but I can’t help myself. So here it is, in celebration of the too-short-too-secretive, impressive quality, hype trailer  
> I hope you enjoy this in the midst of getting giddy and smiley from the Gintama: The Final news.  
> They freakin have SPYAIR and DOES, a wish of many that the creators behind the film with Sorachi-sensei have granted for us, thankfully. Also, the OVA seems to cover the last two or three chapters from where they left the anime off.
> 
> It really is the end and I’m not one bit ready.
> 
> Stay tuned and keep living on. The last farewell with Gintama is just around the corner.  
> Chunchunnie


End file.
